I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
