I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
