My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
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