Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I have aggressive nipples.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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