Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
