I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
