Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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