are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize