her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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