I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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