Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
