I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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