ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
