I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
