so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
