I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
