have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
it's like heaven, but drunker
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
