I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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