some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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