Will you blow on my dice?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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