its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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