Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
