Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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