Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
