Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
