Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize