i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
