sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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