were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
