Are we in a gay sports bar?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
