Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize