We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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