I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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