The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
