Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
