I'm laying in your front yard are you home
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
