Tell her she can't have a vagina
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
