I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
