How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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