dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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