also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
