I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
