drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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