you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
