searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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