I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i now understand why vodka
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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