You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
