1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Welp...herpes.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
