Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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