ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
