You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
