Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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