So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
