could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
