my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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