He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
