We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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