how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize