She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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