can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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