we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
