my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
