to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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